Gamesmanship

Friday night I drove the kids up to their soccer practice / clinic at our local school fields.  Due to a number of baseball, softball and lacrosse games going on in addition to the clinic, there were virtually no open parking spots.

Well, that's not entirely accurate.  I did spot one, right in front of the field my kids would be playing on. Perfect, except that the red sedan to the left of it had pulled in haphazardly and was way over the line - effectively taking up two spots instead of the more traditional one.

Now I don't know about you, but I get exceptionally irked by the "lazy / selfish / incompetent" parker.  I mean really inordinately annoyed.  One might say I over-react.  But you know what?  I disagree with that assessment.  Taking up an extra parking spot - especially in a full lot - is a brazen, very public middle finger to everyone else looking for a spot. It's as bad as taking a Handicap spot when you are in no way - other than perhaps ethically - handicapped.

As a Selfish Parker (SP), you clearly defy convention in full view of your fellow humans.  We can all see that (a) you parked diagonally across two spots and that  (b) you don't care that we can all see it.  This was also  a conscious decision - in fact, one that requires your deciding twice to do this:

1. "I will park there, but because my needs are more important to me than the needs of others, I will pull in without care."
2. "Oh look, my disdainful approach to lined spots has resulted in my inadvertently taking up two spots in this otherwise crowded lot.  That should be fine.  I'm all that matters.  Screw everyone else."

Usually when I come across these random selfish parking situations, I immediately drop into a rage-induced fugue state where I envision all sorts of appropriately Tarantino-esque responses - like a sort of insane Walter Mitty (Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Other Pieces (Penguin Modern Classics).

This time, however, it looked like I could maybe - just maybe - squeeze the minivan in, which I did, though it was perilously close to the SP's red paint job.  One good public and aggressive statement deserves another!

Given the ridiculously poor weather, I chose to stay in the car and work on my laptop... and keep an eye out for SP.  Eventually she showed up and was extremely annoyed with me for having parked so close to her precious K-car, and for making her pay close attention while backing out.  She gave me just one dirty look though, which I returned along with a gesture which indicated, "park better next time, you miserable scapings of leftover pig-trough leavings."  I think she got the gist of it, if not the direct translation.

So... isn't this really how Nations behave towards each other, only writ small?   "Your citizens are boycotting our cheese so we are going to slap import duties on your wool." Or perhaps, "You parked your battleship too close to my Spratly Islands, so I'm going to shoot missiles near - but not at - you."  And, "Do you mind if we ship some nuclear bombs into your backyard, just off your coast, in Cuba?"

How and when we decide as individuals and nations to draw a line in the sand - to say "here, but no further" - is a crucial question, with continuing relevance.  Yes we will help bomb Libya, but not Syria.  Yes we will threaten North Korea, but not the Ivory Coast.  I am not saying these were bad decisions or good ones.  I'm just suggesting that we all need to think carefully about which situations call for pulling our stick out and dragging it along the ground in front of our opponent.

Ultimatums raise the stakes and can provide the energy to push a situation out of stable orbit and spiraling out of control.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't draw those lines, just that you should do so with eyes wide open, and with good reasons in order to justify what might come next.

Also, in the meantime, can we all just remember the "one car, one spot" rule?